„Everyone is a little bit racist.”

„Look around and you will find,
no one's really color-blind.”

„Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!”

„If you were gay
that'd be okay.
I mean 'cause, hey,
I'd like you anyway.”

„The Internet is for porn.”

„Right now you are down and out and
feeling really crappy
And when I see how sad you are
it sort of makes me...
happy!”

„The more you love someone the more you want to kill them.”

„I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.”

„Except for death and paying taxes
Everything in life is only for now!”

„SEX
- is only for now!
YOUR HAIR
- is only for now!
GEORGE BUSH
- is only for now!”

„I can make you feel special.”

„There's a fine, fine line
between what you wanted, and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want
while you're still in your prime.
There's a fine, fine line
between love, and a waste of time.”

„Helping others brings you closer to God,
so give me a quarter...”

„I dated a monster once, but got sick of pickin’ the fur outta my teeth.”

„Thank you gentlemen and… obstacles to those gentlemen."

„You'll be faced with problems
of all shapes and sizes.
You're going to have to make
a few compromises
for now.
But only for now!”